Situation Normal, All F*cked Up

I had bought a krapfen (Christmas donut) and left.  Decided to come back to look for curly hair gel but not finding it passed through the cashier lane.  They stopped me and I explained I had already bought something and showed my receipt.  But unfortunately the previous cashier only charged me for the yogurt not the donut.  Then the manager comes saying "you can't just leave without paying for things".  Then another employee and I think 'I am going to mess around and go to the Vienna police station soon'.  I calmly explain that I will absolutely pay for anything I owe money for and quickly and then they let me go.

While bent over hand washing my clothes with my handy scrubba bag, all of a sudden my back went out.  I went to sit down and immediately the steaming hot water in the bag spilled all over me.  But I couldn't get up because of the not working back so I had to just sit there and take it.  And then attempt to finish the clothes without back.

When I work, I like to put my feet on something so my knees are at a 90 degree angle.  I'm not sure why but it feels really comfortable for my hips. My first work day in Akumal, I doing my routine of looking around the Airbnb for something to put my feet on, and spy a wastebasket next to the bed.  I think how I really don't need that next to the bed.  So I walk over pick it up and while walking it over to the desk, flip it over and test its firmness.  I put it down under the desk and all of a sudden a large black scorpion runs up the side.  

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I gasp, run to the bathroom, and start saying Hail Marys, as per protocol.  I think well I'm definitely not working today.  Then I convince myself I can't stay in here all day and slowly open the door looking for it.  Luckily it is still on the waste basket, so I clearly reach for the key on the counter next to it and quickly run out the front door.  Now what I think.

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I think well maybe I can find someone to help me because I'm not going back inside otherwise.  I find a painter and ask, "Eres bueno con escorpions" and hallelujah he responds "si claro".  So he comes to the apartment and this saint of a man uses a broom to get it into a dust pan and says "ay peligroso" to which I say "ay nooooooo".  Then he takes it outside and smashes it with a rock.  He then does a sweep to see if there are any more.  Thankfully no! After this I decide to make him a rum cake as a thank you but am not able to find him on subsequent days.

Almost as soon as I landed in Beijing, I for the first time ever on a trip, lost my passport​. I didn't realize though until we got to the restaurant and my Shūshu (uncle) said that I should bring my passport in just in case. And you already know I didn't find it.  So we went to dinner and after I ripped apart my suitcase on the ground in the parking lot but nothing.  So we drove to the hotel while I called the embassy.  Unfortunately it was Friday night and there was nothing they could do until Monday and said that we should go and report that it was missing to the local police department.  At the same time Shūshu called everyone, Starbucks in the airport, airport lost and found, airport police. We arrived at the hotel who wouldn't let us check in because we didn't have our passports (my stepmom had left hers and Shūshu's). So we go to the local police department and attempt to file a report about it and for some reason they said they could replace it (?). Meanwhile on our return to the hotel my stepmom got sick and was throwing up in a bag in the lobby :-( Finally because she was sick they let her in the room.  I waited with Āyí (auntie) while Shūshu called the entire city of Beijing.  At one point the Beijing airport police asked him what I had been wearing in the airport. All of a sudden on my live translation headphones I heard Āyí say "what they found it!".  I got on my hands and knees and started bowing ha! The Beijing airport police tracked me down-out of the hundreds of people there-followed me through the airport and followed me watching until that moment where I took something out of my purse and it jumped out.  Someone had come by and put it on the car next to us and they went to collect it. I mean I love America but they would never! Shūshu said he was going to go get it, and that saint of a man who was so tired, it was so late drove to the airport to get it so that I could be with my stepmom. He said they asked if I could write a thank you to the department since I'm a foreigner they were eager to get that review.  I said of course whatever they want, do they need my first born? He also said it would be a nice gesture if we got a flag made to give to them, so he did, again sweetest man alive and we went to give it to them.  So now for all time, my name will hang in the Beijing airport police department.